The End of the World

I’m currently reading Where’d You Go, Bernadette, a book recommended by my friend Shazam. It’s an engaging read – interesting format and great build-up. The **** is about to hit the fan, and I’m enjoying my front-seat view to the chaos.

What Bernadette doesn’t realize is that it’s unwise, dangerous, even, to make major life decisions during a time of crisis. Better to wait until things cool down, and you can think clearly.

For example, I’ll give you the case of Ronald:

“Ronald” isn’t his real name, and this is not my tale to tell, but stories don’t work like that – they’re told by those who like to tell them. And Ronald’s story is too good not to share.

Ronald was a widower and a computer nerd. He was online before Bill Gates. Or, at least, they tied. He spoke fluent DOS and HTML. He used off-brand web browsers, multiple monitors, an ergonomic mouse, and had files so well organized, they would’ve made Marie Kondo blush.

Ronald, who we now know well enough to call by his nickname, Ron, maintained several websites, one of which housed his strong religious views. Even if you agreed with said views, you would’ve regarded the site with narrowed eyes. Our greatest passions come out looking a little crazy to the unafflicted. Genius or madness? Only time will tell.

One of Religious Ron’s beliefs was that the world was soon ending.

Ron was not alone in this belief. On any given day, many people believe the end is near. Ron had used the Bible to identify the exact date and time The End would come. He posted it on his website, with a count-down clock.

A woman contacted Ron through his site. Let’s call her Adriana. She, too, believed. She, too, knew the end was imminent. She agreed: it would come on the day of Ron’s reckoning.

They emailed, they chatted, they texted, they video called; they fell in love.

Before you think I’m pooh-poohing Internet romance, let me disclose something. I met my husband on Match.com. I experienced my first chatroom romance at age fifteen. I acknowledge the match-making powers of the World Wide Web. Find me a find, cyberspace. Catch me a catch.

Back to Ron and Adriana. A few weeks before The End, they met for a first date.

They lived six hours apart, and each drove halfway to meet the other, drawn by their mutual attraction and the looming apocalypse. The date went well. Sparks flew.

But there wasn’t time to daly with dating – The End Was Near.

As the days ticked down on the website clock, Ron and Adriana did what any lovers would do. They made plans to marry before it was too late.

Clandestinely, they met mid-way on the eve of destruction, and officially became husband and wife. On their second date. As the world spun out of control, they waited together on that last magical evening, counting down the seconds until the big finale.

Which, as you might have guessed, never came. This was about ten years ago.

Ron stopped by my house on his way home from that night of marriage and miracles. I could not write a character more conflicted. He’d been wrong. Colossally wrong. The end had not come. He was devastated.

And elated. To be alive, to be newly wed; to start an exciting and wholly unexpected chapter of his life.

Since you asked, yes, Ron and Adriana are still married. And the world still spins.

A few weeks ago, on the eve of the solar eclipse, I spoke with Ron. We made plans to meet up post-eclipse.

“If we survive this thing,” he said.

Oh no. Not again.

“It’s just a solar eclipse,” I reassured him. “It’ll be over in a few hours. Don’t run off and marry anyone. It’s going to be OK.”

And it was. And it will be. Let’s all live like we were….not dying.

• – by Jessi Waugh